What could be so beastly you may be wondering? Or possibly not.
The schedule ganged up with THE LIST! and went all gangsta! Last thing I remember it was January. I'm not entirely sure I know what year this is either.
This whole teenager thing is not for the faint of heart! I have no life because they are sucking up every waking moment. My dad just called and said he has a couple shows he could use Jared's help with, and every time Nicholas and Michael walk through the doors at church they're getting pounced on by an adult asking them to lead worship for youth group, or run the soundboard and/or PowerPoint. Lately, I've found myself running someone to something and a few Sundays I had to drop off the guys at church, run up to get Jared back and then swing back in time to snag the other two.
The older two are still needing more hours before they can get their driver's license, and it is taking FOREVER because everything is doubled. It's making everything harder and longer. The traffic is very congested down here so Fred has to take them way out of town to drive and then there are two of them that need to practice. I have yet to get into the car with them. But I have heard they are doing great but they get so stressed out about the whole thing it sort of comical.
Gosh, I wonder who's kids these belong too??? When I was their age, I already had my license, had a job, and was doing school. But while they lack some confidence, I think they are way smarter than I was at their age, and have more wisdom and talent in their pinkies than I ever could have hoped to possess.
Gone are the attitudes of you are mom and you know nothing, and it's replaced by this awe that they think I'm the most intelligent thing to roam the planet. While this does cause me to chuckle, I still have a 14 yr old that tries to smash that ooey-gooey feeling into tiny bits. There are no words to describe what a difference 4 years makes in a child. My 18 yr olds are constantly asking for advice, while my 14 yr old rolls his eyes at everything I say. And if he gets too feisty, I will tackle him and try to pin him to the ground.
Because big bottomed girls rule the world and will take any dude down. Amen.
Unfortunately, I can't keep him pinned down for long. Not to mention he got me back. He came sailing into my room right when I was getting out of bed and took.me.down. As in full on tackle that knocked my feet out from under me while I had a hang time of half a second before his momentum finished me off in a heap. Thankfully, the bed broke my fall. I shudder at the thought if I would have gone to the floor. It's possible I would still be there in traction unable to move. He caught me so off guard, I just sat there in a heap laughing out of sheer relief that I wasn't injured.
For the last two years, his favorite thing is to do is the flying hug. If you are fortunate, you have some furniture or a wall to help keep you propped up. If you find yourself in an open space and he comes charging - brace yourself, because it's going to feel like a wall just landed on you. I've noticed his older brothers have stopped calling him "little brother" and now refer to him as their younger brother.
They better be glad that he is so laid back in his personality or there would be some major paybacks going on!
Thursday, February 27, 2014
What could be so beastly you may be wondering? Or possibly not.
Monday, February 17, 2014
The good news is we survived germ-fest and are fully recovered. At least I thought until tonight. Hubby and I ran to the boarder while the guys were at youth group and ended up picking up some food poisoning along with our nachos. I'm belching a rotten egg smell and some of it bullied it's way through the intestines leaving us both running for bathrooms. And while an argument could be made that duh, you went to Taco Bell so, of course, you're taking your life into your own hands - I wasn't aware the boarder crossing was now armed with lethal bacteria.
I feel really bad because I talked Hubs into going there aaaannnd he ended up poisoned. Nothing says I love you like being talked into consuming questionable food that leads to evil diarrhea. Although, I think that's a double negative, because when is diarrhea not evil?
That lovely tale of woe was on the heels of another tale of woe. Sadness had struck when it was discovered the coffee maker stopped working. It was confirmed it had died a sudden and tragic death, as in it didn't work. Not like I care, but for Nicholas - this was a sure sign that the end of the world had indeed just happened. We had a curbside memorial as it was tossed into the dumpster and made a quick trip to snag a newer model, because we have discovered Nicholas is a bit more grumpy without his coffee.
He claims he's not addicted, so far none of us are buying it.
We thought we had recovered with a new coffee maker that had a lot of cool features, but sadly it is giving off a plastic aftertaste. I have washed this sucker, ran water through it, even brewed a couple pots to try and flush this junk out, but was informed the film was still floating on top. Dude looked at me to which I said, "dump it" and he gave me a look of horror until I asked him if he wanted to drink it. He nodded his agreement and dumped it. I had him use Folgers coffee instead of the Starbucks because that crap ain't cheap!
Sissy recommended using vinegar through it which is what I did because the man child is not happy that his morning cup of Joe is being violated. And that has cut into his God time because he likes to read his bible, pray, take notes all while slurping his coffee.
I have no idea where this child came from.
But I can tell you, huge improvements have been made with him, and no way do I want to interrupt his God time.
Michael and I just make our tea and shudder at the thought of it being morning, and then take turns to see who is going to go bang on Jared's door to awaken it. He usually stumbles out and face plants onto the couch mumbling something along the lines of good morning. At least I think that's what he is mumbling, hard to tell with the pillow blocking his face. We are a festive group. Just not in the mornings. Unless it's Nicholas, who was warned not to sing good morning. He.was.warned. Just saying.
Thankfully, the vinegar rinse did the trick and we are back in business. I was going to breathe a sigh of relief until I realized that Monday has snuck up on me ready to do a karate chop. Maybe I can belch on it and it will skitter away. Blah!
And I'm not happy with all this tale of woe that showed up because I had an awesome weekend in spite of everything else. This junk can't tarnish it, so it just needs to scurry on it's way and not come back!
Monday, January 27, 2014
I made that silly little comment about needing to park it and reading a bunch of books. Some germ took that as a personal challenge and Jared's germs went crazy ba-zerk. Michael was the other causality and last weekend we could barely move. Nicholas got a little too smug about not getting the germs and Michael tossed out a threat of licking him. I couldn't stop laughing. Which turned into coughing.
I'm going to miss that lung.
This week has gone better, but I can't seem to stop coughing. And it's one of those annoying must hack out a lung type coughs but there is no productivity of freeing said lung from the crud. All the work and nothing to show for it. Unless you count the fact that I now have abs of steel. Granted, it is completely buried under a large layer of blubber, but you'll have to trust me that there are some rock hard abs from all the horking.
I took some medicine right before dinner, ate, and then sat down on the couch waiting for Mythbusters to come on. Next thing I know, Mythbusters is running the end credits and I'm mopping about half a gallon of drool off my neck.
Well. That was unpleasant.
But since I ended up with a nap, my brain read that as 'stay up all night and think of random things'. Oh the random! I think my brain tried to come up with several solutions, but I'm pretty sure it came up with zilch as I only half remember it.
I'm still slightly steamed. With being run over by a mac truck and flat on my back, I was only able to read one book. One!! I'm pretty sure I stayed in a fetal position for days on end, so I should have cranked out a few. Instead, my eyes didn't want to focus on anything other than identifying body parts I was horking out with every cough.
I've noticed that Wicked is coming to Once Upon A Time. A few people I know big, puffy heart love the musical and when I was at the book sale, I was able to snag a copy for a buck. So I thought might as well tackle that one first as the show kicks back on in March. And I am now mourning that buck and the time I wasted reading that garbage.
Seriously! One of the worst books I've ever read! I liked the concept of it, however, there was so much sex in the book that it got beyond gross. I'm not a prude, but when graphic sex scenes are tossed around every few chapters, it gets old and just screams unnecessary. I am completely confused how anyone was able to salvage enough of that story to make a musical out of it. It was so bad I immediately tossed the thing into the recycle bin as soon as I finished it. And I rarely toss books.
What fries my bacon is that person is published and has won all kinds of awards. So now I'm digging through my stack of books to pick an author who's work I enjoy to hopefully get that awful junk out of my head. Hate it when that happens. And I'm not sure what I'm more upset over - the fact that I feel I could write a better story or the fact that someone publish that garbage.
I was in full rant about it to Hubby who shot back why don't I? Took me a few beats to catch on to what he meant about me writing, and then I slide down to the floor gasping for air from all the laughing. I listed off all the stuff I did that day let alone the rest of the week. Who has time for that?!? I think I've mostly given up on blogging too. I feel like I barely make it through a week from everything that has to get done and most of the time I feel like I'm behind on that. I say this as a pile of laundry glares at me.
Maybe someday - maybe not. The thought of trying to plan more than a week hurts my head right now. I spent most of the day coming up with a grocery list and a few loads of laundry. Someone was whining about wearing his last pair of scrubs. Although, he did take pity on me and has cooked a few meals this week. Which was good as I put him down for making most the meals.
He better hopes this week goes better. Scratch that - I better rise from the ashes or he's going to make chili again. There are only so many times I can eat it before my intestines stages a revolt. I am skert we are coming to the danger zone. Especially since I'm making Cowboy Crack dip for Sunday. Oh the dips! It will be a dip-glorious day.
Friday, January 17, 2014
I have now flopped into another decade. I've embraced the gray - sort of. At least I thought I was until I had to pluck my eyebrows and what should I discover but a couple of gray - no, white eyebrow hairs! For some reason I sat there all irked like, because what was one supposed to do with white eyebrow hair anyways? I'm still scarred from discovering hoo-hah hair can turn grey.
I actually hunted my mother down and demanded to know why she didn't prepare me for that special shock. She was laughing so hard, she started coughing to the point that she sounded like a sick sea-lion. My dad got on the phone and asked what the heck did I say to make her cry with laughter like that.
So I told him and from what I hear, he is on his third bottle of bleach trying to get that image out of his eyes. Hey, he of all people should know better than to ask questions all willy-nilly like that around me. Actually, he said it was funny but just couldn't believe I'm old enough to have graying hoo-hah hair. He keeps forgetting what year I was born in, so thought I had a couple more years to go. Talk about denial! Dude is in his 70s, so time for a check up from the neck up!
I ended up having a blast - the gals came down for the book sale and I have another large bag of
crack books to go through. Be still my heart! Too bad I still have 3 other bags full from the last 2 trips. Ahem! I've been busy. Although, I'm not sure what it is I've actually done. Weird.
But we went off to P.F. Chang's and someone tipped off the waitress and a cheesecake with lit candles appeared while people sang to me. I had to pose for pictures all while I had a goofy grin on my face. Well, it WAS cheesecake. I just wished I knew it was coming or I would have passed on those egg rolls. Burp! I was so glad they came! I really needed some girl time. They almost didn't come because of the crazy weather. They have no idea how happy I was that they braved it. It's over an hour drive for them - 15 minute drive for me.
Sissy might be coming this weekend. But Jared just caught the crud, so she's not too sure now. We shall see how that pans out. All the days are starting to blend together. I need to park it and get knocking some of these books off but I've been cross-stitching, which just screams I have no life. And while that may be true, I've been working on this sucker off and on for 5 years and I think I got enough steam to get it finished. It's huge and all the shading hasn't pushed me over the edge yet so away I go.
And this is me - with a hobby.
You may offer your pity at any time now.
Oh wait, that would require people to comment. Which is weird because I don't know how my blog got listed on this one site but one blog post has almost 500 hits on it. Ok. Creepy. Sort of glad I set my comment settings to no anonymous comments. I was getting too many spam comments which is sad because those seem to be the only comments lately, but didn't have the body parts they were offering to enhance so buh-bye spammers. But to rack up 500 hits on one post and no comments - seems a bit off. I really don't network very well. I'm confused why anyone reads this anyways.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
I guess around these parts it was considered a blizzard but honestly, it only ranked as a serious snow storm by our standards. And what fun! We had my dad snowed in with us for a few days. Honestly, it went fine which only reinforces my belief that it's my mother that causes all the angst.
He was down for the weekend as he needed a place to stay as he was selling BBQ sauce. J was more than happy to tag along. Except the bad weather drove people away and it was an epic flop as far as sales goes. They wrapped it up just in time for the snow to come charging in and Dad was seriously thinking about heading out.
I think he was concerned about us not having enough stuff. I told him I always have extra stuff as we take our food seriously. Good thing too, because he was here for 5 days. He really loved my Cheeseburger Soup so I gave him the recipe and as soon as he got home, he made it. I guess he wasn't kidding when he said it was really good. It's been Michael's favorite soup since he was little. Nicholas, who loves all things lasagna, says Lasagna Soup is the best. And Jared, who hates all vegetables says he hates all soups.
Does this explain the eye twitch a little?
But we watched movies and read books. Made him watch the Lone Ranger, which I felt didn't get just reviews. It was really good. Totally not believable but I like a good story. I had just finish Baldacci's latest and Dad was rubbing it in my Mom's nose that he was reading it. She had asked to borrow it last time but I hadn't read it yet. Needless to say, she was happy we sent Dad home with a few books for her to read. Because not only do we take food seriously, we also take books seriously.
The weather better cooperate too, because the book sale is Friday and I really don't want to go alone. I'm not sure if the gals are coming down yet as last I heard there was talk of them not coming. That would be a bummer. And after venturing out today, I think I have myself mostly convinced never to leave the house, like, ever again.
Dad left before noon and it took him four hours to get back. It normally only takes an hour and half to two hours depending on who's driving. We left shortly after lunch to go grocery shopping. And that's where the fun ended. I was hoping the 2 degree temp would keep people off the streets. Seems that I was wrong. Someone needs to teach these people how to drive in the snow because it wasn't people going super fast that was the problem, rather the people that would go super slow, come to a complete stop and then spin out at the light causing traffic jams.
As if going out to stuffmart isn't a pain enough as it is, let's toss in idiots on the road to make it exciting.
There is a stuffmart not too far away from where we live, but the layout is the most ridiculous setup I have every seen in my life. I'm not OCD but even I can see there is no reason to the place and they always have so much stuff in the lanes that you can barely get your cart through. No thanks! So I go to one that is a lot farther away. I seriously should have reconsidered that thought today. Actually, I should have waited a few more days because it's going to warm up and make driving conditions better. I was just out of a few essentials but I could have made it.
Wish I wouldn't second guess myself so much. I'm not nearly as wrong as what I think I am.
We snagged a parking spot and went to enter stuffmart but the temps were so cold that they couldn't open a set of doors. The doors I happened to pick to park near. So we had to trek it the other side, which means we were going to have to mush carts all the way back to the other side through the snow.
We got most of the stuff on the list. The bread aisle was like nothing I have ever seen before because it was picked clean! But I didn't need any bread as I always have an extra loaf double bagged and in the chest freezer. And the place wasn't as packed as it normally was, so I guess that wasn't too bad.
The bad part was after we mushed through the parking lot and was attempting to leave. A truck had spun out at the light causing a traffic jam. Bunch of guys hopped out to help push - none of them were wearing coats. Proving that most people are idiots. We even saw a few guys in shorts, sweatshirts, and hats and gloves. Dude - you forgot your pants! It was cold enough that even the gang-bangers had their pants pulled up to their waste.
I will say it was nice having an SUV because the roads were terrible! They don't handle snow very well here, so most of the roads had packed snow in spots and ice mounds in others with a lot of slop in between. It was a bumpy ride! But the hard part was how people were spinning out. No wonder they shut the whole city down for the last couple days. City slickers in a hurry on bad roads shouldn't be allowed out. I wasn't too sure we were going to make it back. Had a couple close calls trying to get around people who think if you just give it more gas, you'll get out of the hole.
But then again, I tossed caution to the wind all because we were out of eggs and a few other things. All those things could have been picked up much closer to home. So the question begs to be asked who the stupid person really was after all?
Monday, December 30, 2013
Well, in Pinterest's defense it wasn't really its fault. I kept coming across recipe after recipe and thought ooh that looks good! And I'm the type of person that only likes to taste a bunch of little stuff, but doesn't want to get stuck with a ton of it. Toss in Hubby needed to do a gift exchange last year, and it all made sense to make a ton of stuff and give everyone a little bit of everything.
Then insert my crazy self, who tends to over do - well, just about everything.
I mean e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
Last year we did dollar store tins and I did my part and made tons of stuff and Hubby did his part where he got 10 pounds worth of stuff into a 2 pound tin. Awesomeness was had by all.
Then this year rolls around with my craziness showing up and seeing more good recipes to try out. Plus, I thought it would be cool to get those Chinese take out boxes and fill it with stuff. So far, that wasn't a bad idea. Then I kept adding different things to try and....well.....long story short.....amped up crazy person decided to give 4 boxes to each person.
I don't think you are appreciating the level of insanity this turned out to be. Because OH MY FREAKING GOSH!! IT ABOUT DID ME IN!!!!!!
It was on round fifty of some form of awesomeness that I glared at Hubby and demanded to know why my voice of reason, him, didn't speak up to say, "calm the heck down woman!" And believe me, he has had to say it many times. He said he reasoned all this stuff was yummy so have it.
The good news is I got it all done in time. Now I'm begging dude to work for a different hospital so I don't have to go through this again. However, we made up a bag for nurse Diane and he said her reaction was priceless. She said it made her Christmas. And that right there is why I tend to over-do it with things, because that gave me warm fuzzies knowing it meant a lot to someone. He said the rest of the gals acted like a diabetic falling off the wagon. That made me laugh and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to laugh about that or not.
I no sooner had all that done and off the list, when I had to pull stuff together for a family get-together. We had a good time as can be expected. My folks arrived late and left early. So fun was had by all.
My cousin's wife and I are giddy as another book sale is upon us. She caught wind that this will happen day after my b-day, and if her cackled of glee is any indication of what she's up to then I'm sure I will take more ribbing. I've taken a lot of crap from them for not being in my 40s, so I can only imagine the shenanigans they are going to pull. But, we always have a ton of fun, so I'm sure this will be no different.
Although, I really need to spend some quality time getting my book pile lowered. I've been so busy that I haven't had a chance to read much. That is a sad thing indeed! This holiday season has blown by fast! I told the guys that it doesn't even feel like we've had a break. I said we're taking another week off and they just smiled.
Hopefully, I'll give Pinterest a rest because it keeps giving me ideas. And nobody's got time for that right now!
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
And by funny, I mean dear sweet Jesus! I wasn't sure we were going to survive!! Forget L.A.Ink - this was more along the lines of Megadeath's Tattoo Parlor of Creepiness. Before you give me the eye roll, let me set the stage here.
I'm not opposed to tats - my brother has a few. I've joked about getting a chicken feather tattoo but I know that I'm too much of a chicken to follow through with it. I also read an article that said the fatter the person is the more pain they would experience. I don't know if that is true or not, but this chunky monkey isn't going to take any chances thank you very much!
This place was rated 3rd in the entire state. The area is up and coming, tons of little houses turned into shops and it's a cute area. We walk in and it was like falling into a pit from hell. Seriously. We walked right into some sort of invisible wall of creepiness. The guys all looked us both up and down, smirked, and said the coffee shop was next door.
Sissy said she had an appointment. While all that was going on, I started to look around the room. Big....fricken......mistake! I started to notice that all the hair on the back of my neck was standing at attention, which is odd because that neck hair is really on the lazy side just hanging out, not standing in formation. Cue some Megadeath music and my neck hair started sending Morse code for me to just bonk Sissy over the head and drag ourselves out of there real quick like.
Sensing my fear - a guy covered in tattoos and piercings planted himself near the door and gave off the vibe that he regularly sacrifices humans to his cult of choice.
Looks like we were in the full enchilada. I don't remember wanting an enchilada nor ordering one.
There I was - being all supportive of someone and I was getting eyeballed by Uncle Fester. It also didn't help that all of Sissy's friends bailed on her so I was to be the lone voice of wisdom. I am so fed up with people saying one thing with their mouths and then can't follow through with their actions. Wish people would learn to either be honest or shut the heck up! I was trying hard not to have my jaw hanging open as I looked at all the pictures and sculptures of death and straight up creepiness. And I was trying not to be a judgmental jerk, so I looked these guys in the eyes and smiled and did my best to be nice and joke around with them.
FYI - they didn't find me funny. They were amused at my presence but that was about it. Needless to say, I won't pine away wondering if Fester's day was brighter just by smiling at him. You could smell the crazy on him and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't see a bright day even if he was standing on the sun.
While I was sitting there trying not to make a sign of the cross, I started praying. Actually, I was praying before we even walked through the door. I had joked on the way there 'yay, though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we will fear no evil' - who knew I was so prophetic?
Sissy picked out the word Believe, and it has a lot of meaning for her and this was between her and God. I can support that but looking around this room, I was freaked out and I could tell she was too. As I was praying I felt like God told me to look around the room again. I didn't want to but did. And I was still freaked out. The pictures of death were everywhere. There were pictures of tattoos showing as best as I can describe, a tortured soul condemned to the pit of evil. There was a statue of satan in the corner and the thing was looking at me no matter where I was standing.
Then it hit me - look at what Jesus saved us from. We can sit here and talk about demons and evil, and Jesus loves me cuz the bible tells me so, but to be in a room where the presence of evil was so thick you could almost physically touch it and to know that God sent His Son to rescue us from that evil was overwhelming. I was flooded with so much peace and knew Sissy was to go through with it. She sat down next to me and I leaned over and whispered all this in her ear and she was flooded with peace as well. It lined up with some things we were talking about earlier. Felt like it was a green light from God.
The guy called her back and got her all squared away on where it was going to be and had her prepped. I snapped a few pictures and she said it didn't hurt at all, which was surprising because it was on her ribcage. I sat down and put my phone away and dude was done.
Well, okay then!
The guy rattled off all the care she would need to do and I asked if they had that on paper because she isn't going to remember a single thing he just said. I was right too. She said she was mad at herself about how bad she was worked up over it. The guys were all teasing her saying it's not bad at all and when did she want another one. Then they all looked at me and I said, "oh, no!" I took a ton of ribbing but just smiled as I slowly inched my way towards the door.
Again, this chunky chick isn't taking any chances. If I want something that is going to cost a lot of money, cause me pain, and mark me for life - I would rather have another kid! Besides, how would I explain a chicken feather? Sissy's has meaning - mine would just be sarcastically silly.