Sunday, January 25, 2015

Sometimes Ya Just Gotta...

Take a few days off! I'm not sure how or why I was scheduled the weekend off but you won't hear me complaining!! Well....I might complain, but it's more like the fact that they upped my hours after telling me I'll be begging for more work. I'm thinking someone either doesn't know me or is not being honest and are convinced if they tell me the truth, I'll run out the door screaming.

That is sounding like a high probability!

I was scheduled to work Friday night but I tried to get someone else to cover for me. I am slightly confused because one manager said it was no big deal and another manager said I better find someone to cover it or I was in trouble. By all means, fire me. It will save me from feeling guilty when I go to quit. I did feel bad because I made a gal a scarf and I think she felt liked she owed me, so she covered it for me. I'll just do what I normally do and make her some goodies and maybe another scarf and hope that will make up for it.

I think I have some issues. Not entirely certain.

The reason I HAD to take Friday off was because it was the book sale! Hallelujah, amen! It was time to load up on some more crack books! Not like I've had a lot of time to read lately but that's not going to stop me. And I couldn't disappoint the gals who were coming down, so I did what I must. I went and had a fabulous time as always. There were a few bumps like there is one lady that constantly hogs the Christian Fiction section. I think she might live under the tables because she is always there no matter how early we are standing out in the cold. But she likes to crowd us out by leaving all her bags in one section and then just keeps scooting next to us until we all take a step to the side or risk her attaching herself to our arm.

Eww! (said in your best Jimmy Fallon voice)

After peeling her off my arm, I gave up and went and checked out a few other areas and circled back around after a while to finally check out the section she guards with her life. About the 3rd book I picked up and put in my bag, she materialized out of nowhere and did her normal lean in and scoot. She does this every time. She's done shopping because she doesn't pick up any more books, but she clearly gets upset if I start taking too many books. It was weird. Seriously lady? You already had first crack at it, you got 3 bags worth of stuff, AND you didn't pick up anything else when we were there so what's the deal? I wasn't having it this time around. I had the high ground and I wasn't surrendering!

That may just be confirmation I really do have issues. I bet she has 15 cats at home. And they're the sane ones in her book hoarding little group.

But I got some good deals. Unfortunately, I bought the same book again. Fred has me beat on this one. He can't keep straight how many books he has read, so when we try to complete a series, doubles sometimes happens. I'm not sure what we'll do with the twin books. Not like anyone is going to want book #7 of a series they've never read. Then I went to put the books on the "to be read" shelf and there was no room. So I just piled the books next to said shelf. It's sort of sad. On top of that the already read box is over-flowing so looks like I'm going to have to spend a few hours straighten some things out. Translation - that's not going to happen.

Next we headed off to Trader Joe's and I think I should be slightly embarrassed that people go there for healthy food and I managed to score every single junk food they sell. I haven't managed to work up enough emotion for it to rise to the surface of actual feelings, but I'm sure it's there. Buried under a bag of cookie butter sandwiches. I haven't tried them yet but somehow I feel it is my duty to try something called cookie butter.

That went off smoothly and then we went to P.F. Chang's. Yum! However, we managed to score thee most grumpiest waitress in the tri-county area. Seeings how we are in the capital of Indiana - that's pretty impressive. This gal's snarl did put a damper on things. We were all skert to ask for anything else because just trying to get her to bring us lemons for our water was apparently too much of an effort. I offered up prayers that we would survive her and we managed to get out unscathed. I opened up my take-out box the next day and had to laugh. She didn't put the rest of my rice in the box. Well alrighty then! For as pricey as that place is I'm thinking they need to screen their staff a teensy bit more. But that's just crazy talk I guess!

People amaze me. I get having a bad day but there is having an off day and choosing to just be one nasty pill. I think if she would have smiled, her face would have cracked and fallen off. We've had a few regular customers like that where they want to argue over everything. They aren't pleasant, they can't smile, and are just nasty. And there is nothing you can say or do to change their attitude. Well, that's not true. I've found out I can make them go from mean to demon possessed in a few short seconds by not giving them what they want. Unpleasant!

And I think I have managed to convince the guys to swap where we grocery shop every other week. I can almost feel the bonds of stuffmart being pulled off of me! Except for the fact that after shopping there for years, we're used to certain things. But we went to Meijer this last time and we all agreed it was a pleasant shopping experience. Paid more money for everything but didn't feel the need to run people over with the grocery cart. That's got to count for something, right?

I think what we'll do is try to load up on certain items and that way we can swap back and forth. This greeter is really starting to wear on us. I just don't feel like standing around talking while blocking the exit to listen to her tell us the same stories or ask the same questions. It's like talking to my FIL. Yeah, no thanks! So maybe this is a good thing. It's forcing us out of our normal get in and get out/just trying to survive mentality. I'm also hoping we'll move to the other side of the city. At least the non ghetto part.

Saturday I made a Coke Cola Chocolate Cake. It was delish. I might make another one latter in the week because it's just that good. Sissy came down today and we had fun hanging out and finishing off the cake. Working on a snack list for next weekend. I still don't care about the Superbowl - I am in it for the commercials and the excuse to make this much dip. Bring it!

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

I Think I Survived The Holidays

Of course I mean the fall holidays - jury is still out on Christmas. And I say that because a few days ago after I got off from work, I came home and finally did a bunch of Christmas goodies that I normally do but haven't had the time to do. Or energy. I don't think I should even begin to touch the topic of me and lack of energy. I'm hoping with hours finally getting back down to normal I've got a shot at recuperating. Can't say as I'm holding my breath but I can dream.

My folks crashed our Christmas Eve dinner. We survived and I'll leave it at that. It wasn't as bad as what it was in the past, but there is still room for improvement. Like them being somewhere else if she can't stop with all the criticism. But on a lighter side, I'm not an emotional wreck about it on the other side of it. Look at me being a grown up and all! Who would of thought? We were able to surprise the guys. We got Tim Hawkins new DVD and we were able to get tickets to go see him live again. Had an awesome time last time and glad we get to do it again.

We just got dumped on with snow. I am not amused. Where was this crap for Christmas? I got all the Christmas stuff down and put away Sunday. Last night I went into work and things where okay and came out to the parking lot covered in snow. At least I got the next couple days off because tomorrow is single digits and me buried under a blanket with a book. Or knitting because I picked up some more yarn. But then again I'm trying to get caught up with my scrapbook stuff. This is starting to get complicated! Which project do I tackle?

Of course, I just realized that we need to go grocery shopping. Talk about a mood killer. It's bad enough that we have to go into stuffmart, but we've been sort of adopted by one of the greeters. She always calls out "there's my boys!" The guys all give me a look of "make her stop." Sorry fellas, but you're on your own. Meet the power of an old lady who won't go away. She's a sweetie, but she is a talker, and after 15 minutes of non-stop talking, I get concern the milk is starting to turn and the ice cream has melted. Except now that it's cold I can't use that excuse any more. Better come up with something quick. My oranges might freeze?

I can't get over how crazy the weather is here. One thing you can count on Michigan - it will be cold. End of story. Here in Indiana we have days where it's in the 50s, a couple days where it's in the 30s, and one day where it dips down in the 20s. And then it'll shoot back up to 50s. Except tomorrow is supposed to be a high of 5. It's weird to look at the calendar and then look out the window and go, What? Does not compute!!

Messes with my head.

Sort of like when I went into work and we had Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day stuff out. It was 2 days before Christmas!! I was with a guest, thought I knew what they were looking for, came around the corner and was like, "What the heck??? When did THIS show up?!?" Retail is weird. And for people who wait the week of Christmas for Christmas napkins and such? You are so screwed. We were totally out of wrapping paper the week before Christmas. You snooze, you loose!

Better buy your Easter stuff soon. Sheesh!

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

How TO Lose Track Of Time In A Really Boring Way

Otherwise known as life. This being a grown up stuff really sucks. And what's worse is trying to encourage your children to roll up their sleeves and jump in is challenging especially when you have one that's looking at the murky water of adulthood asking about bacteria. (Tarzan reference)

Pesky questions.

Work has worked me like.....well....a dog. The holiday rush that they tried to prepare me for? Yeah, wasn't prepared. And the nastiness that spewed forth from people? Ba-humbug! I've been pulling 38 hrs a week for the last month and I am beyond exhausted. I have to have my left ankle wrapped all the time and IcyHot is my new perfume of choice. They said this is the last week of crazy. What sucks is the store is just trashed and we can't keep up with it. My ONE day off this week has me sitting here blogging doing laundry and getting ready to go grocery shopping. Only to come home, put it all away, and then tackle more laundry and get all the work shirts all ironed. Such a glamorous life I don't live.

I'm told I'm a ray of sunshine at work, so clearly I have them all fooled. And on an even brighter note, the jerk co-worker quit right before Black Friday. Not like I'm surprised, but I had a hard time containing my glee.

Speaking of glee, the in-laws didn't make it out for a visit. I was so exhausted that I was really relieved. And then I felt bad for feeling that way, but then got over it and then warm and gooey feelings arrived when it dawned on me that we had the whole weekend to do nothing. We had an epic Netflix session and got all caught up on a couple shows. Then we hopped over to HuluPlus to get that all out of the way, because we really are that sad. However, we enjoyed every second of it so I'm not really sorry about our level of slackerness that we achieved. Hey, go big or go home. Since we were already home, we did it epic style.

Although, I want a new home. I came home from work the other night to tons of cars and cops everywhere. I'm sort of skert Tyrone and Skinny Pete have expanded their territory as there was a shooting 2 doors down from us resulting in a dead body. It was late at night. Guys said they heard the shots but didn't see anything. Not like they looked but said the shots were really loud. The news said it was a robbery attempt. Not sure if the dead guy is the robber or the robbie - either way this has only intensified my desire to move by a brazillion. As if I needed the encouragement. But I still ask God why the heck we're here in a big city when we aren't a fan of big city life. Not like I want to go back to Michigan, but can't say as I'm a fan of all of this either. Those ruby slippers hasn't produced much results. Wonder if they need new batteries?

The guys got all their driving hours in. (Hooray!) Only to tank their driving test based on parallel parking. Seriously?!? Who even parks like that anymore? Personally, I thought it was stupid to fail them based on that. She did say they are still a bit timid, which I sadly agree with and can't figure out what the deal is or how to fix it. Fred was the same way at their age. So while part of me is well they'll get there, the other part of me is slightly convinced the male species is a sad species that needs to get their butt in gear.

Lot of praying for them. God has to keep telling me to chill out about everything because I want stuff done already and by yesterday thank you very much!  Blah! Our family motto has been for years is We'll Get There! I'm sort of concern that our mascot might be a slow moving turtle. Not just a normal turtle but an extra slow turtle. If I shove a stick of dynamite in it's shell will this speed things up a bit?

Speaking of slow, Fred finally got through all of his training at the hospital. I think that pushed him beyond his endurance of patience. But he finally did it and has been in the I.V. room all this week. He was able to quit Menard's and we've actually seen each other for more than 15 minutes 2 days in a row. Kind of nice since I like his face and all.  He showed me a picture of some of the equipment and my goodness! Get that man a crazy wig and he could be a mad scientist! Way too complicated for me to figure out, but this is me who still has to remind myself it's i before e except after c.

I'm working like crazy to get my mom's gift made. I made myself a scarf with my loom and she said that would make a wonderful Christmas gift for her. Ha! Wrong color for her coat so I'm working on another one for her. Trouble is I don't think I have enough yarn because I still can't figure out how much yarn I need and last night I was digging through the bin and I don't see the same dye lot number so I'm thinking I might be screwed. Or I just don't care and I'll roll with it which is starting to look like what I'm going to go with. But they are crashing our party on Christmas Eve so I got to get moving.

J is on Christmas break. I'm feeling slightly guilty that I didn't even know he was that close to being done. Matter of fact, he finished all of his history - for the year. Sooo looks like I need to make a quick order here or some time before the year is over with.

Ugh. Life is going too fast for me right now.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

A Bit Of This And That

How is it even possible to be near the end of October??? I think I am now convinced that there aren't enough pills to keep things normal. However, I seem to be doing a bit better with all this juggling. Which means I actually have good days where I'm not a hot mess and sobbing in a corner.

I'm only able to cram in a paragraph here and there between everything else going on. It's probably a good thing I don't have time to blog because I'm sure the last thing you want to read is me whining about how many people out there who don't bother to do math. Or about rude people in general who seem to think I have magical powers to override the system and give them what they want for what they want to spend.

As if.

I think the worst is when they want to argue about the price of fabric. I can not even begin to tell you how often people will yell and scream that the sign said it's for 5 a yard and you have to repeatedly point out they got more than a yard so it's going to be 5 times however many yards they got. The look on their face when they finally get it is rather priceless. They won't apologize for their behavior, but the egg is clear to see all over their face. Those long lines that people complain about? It's from lots of people who want to argue over their total. Either that or returns which take forever. We had one day where there were 72 returns. Really people, really?

Had a lady come through the line that got a lot of floral stuff all covered in glitter. When I got done, I looked like Tinker Bell kicked me through the goal post of life. The guy behind her refused to go to my register because he said if he came home with any more glitter on him again, his girlfriend was going to kick him out. How sad is this? Someone had to explain it to me what he meant. And if you are a shut in like me who had no clue - let me soil you with that information. I guess, um, certain types of, uh, bars have their dancers waitresses that use body lotion with glitter in it. And if said dancer waitresses gets to, um, close that glitter might just jump right off and attack their clothes.

I think I could have lived a long life without knowing that information. And I was so close too.

But I was told that this is just the beginning of the holiday mad rush and to brace myself for the nasty behavior that is about to pour forth from stressed out shoppers. Lord, help us!

I think I may need to start finding something else to do. I've had to do a lot of closes this last week and it can be brutal. Putting everything back and straighten up a huge store after having the masses shove and cram stuff all willy-nilly seems to take forever. And it never seems to end. Much like our laundry and dishes only, times it by a brazillion. It also doesn't help that there is a co-worker who is being a royal pain. I don't know why she has it out for me, but she does and I find it beyond annoying. It's weird because she acts like she likes me but then she'll ask me a loaded question and then goes on the radio and says, "Joanna doesn't know what to do about this. Could someone please tell her."

Oh yes, she did.

I'm going to point out I've been working there longer than she has and know a lot more than she does, but she wants to act like she's my manager and wants to tell me what to do. Which is funny because all the managers hate her. She makes sure to get to the go back cart so she doesn't have to do trash or the bathrooms. If I have to do a lot of closes with her I'm thinking of staging a revolt.

Although, I think I might have just found a solution to all of this. I was asked the other night if I would be willing to come in at 4 am and help stock shelves. While my little night owl self cried, I carpe the diem out of that situation and said yes! I won't be around the annoying co-worker, and I won't have the horrible masses to deal with, because there have been some nasty people lately who are under the impression that the world revolves around them and them only.

FYI, they aren't amused that I missed that memo.

I think I might have to pull an all-nighter. Last time I had a 5 am shift I was really out of it. Think I'll take a nap the day before and just stay up all night and then crash when I come home. Except that's the day of the book sale and I still don't know if the in-laws are coming out for a visit for the twins' b-day.

Lord, do what you can to be merciful to me!!! Amen!

In other news, I started loom knitting. One of the regulars who came through my line talked me into trying it. Thank God for YouTube because I'm able to figure this stuff out. My employee discount is helping me out big time because I'm starting to have a yarn obsession, which is funny because I really don't know anything about yarn. Note to self: start learning yarn speak.

And the guys are finally getting this whole driving thing down and we are just a few hours away from being done. I'm not sure who is more happy about this - N or me. Turns out they are way better at highway driving than in town driving. What's the deal with that? It's all the same stuff only going a lot faster. They said there are no turns and curbs, all straight driving. They have discovered the beauty of cruise control and they are a huge fan. Too funny!

Me working has forced them to step up in a lot of ways. They both have had to help J with his school work. That hasn't always gone very well because J refuses to listen to anything they have to say. It doesn't help that how they explained it went over his head. Had to sit them all down and suggest an easier way to deal with all of it. The twins told me later that it was really challenging to put it in a way for him to understand and they had no idea how I've done it for years. All I could do was smirk. And now when I do leave for work N is very fast to say, "we appreciate you!!" as I'm going out the door. See? They do get it. It just takes them taking on stuff to realize I do know what I'm talking about.

The brake line went out in their car and we had an interesting time of juggling every one's schedule on when to drop it off and pick it up. I will say it again, I don't know how women are able to successfully juggle home life and a full time career. I told the head manager if I had her job I would be a slobbering drunk who cussed everyone out for being stupid. She thought that was funny and said you just learn to mutter it real quietly so it sounds like a mumble instead of saying it out loud.

That made me laugh!

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

This Is Your Captain Speaking

Thank you for flying Bug Air - where you really don't have much of a choice.  Um, unless you click on that button on the left to leave this page, but whatever! That's besides the point!!

Your Captain would like to point out some of the views to your left and your right of whatever this is that we're flying.

The Captain will admit that things have been a bit bumpy these last few weeks. That whole balance everything at once has proven to be harder than what it looks like. You may recall that juggling is a bit of a stretch for me as in I can't, but so far I'm faking it. J is back into the swing of school. M and N are holding down the fort handling their own duties, and a few nights out of the week are actually cooking.

(The Captain is still smug about this for some odd reason)

This blog has been neglected and I think I blew dust off of my Pinterest account. I had this whole blog post about how I really wished I never introduced my MIL to Pinterest because she is one of those people who will pin 185 pins to one board at a time. Right now she is averaging 3 boards a day. I think I've unfollowed like 20 of her boards but she keeps clogging up my feed that I just stopped going on it. Tragic.

Oh look. Another thing for my MIL to ruin. Wait, did I just say that out loud? Why yes, yes I did. Be glad I never posted the blog post and we'll leave it at that, m'kay?

On the right side of the....whatever, you'll notice that pile of mess is a lot of stuff I just can't get to until I get a day off. I find myself cramming in a bunch of stuff on my days off trying to keep ahead of things. I've never been that great of a housekeeper and I'm behind on that. One of the guys wrote in the dust "clean me" so I wrote back in dust "get rag and do it yourself."

Except now that I think about it, I've done that before so I guess I don't have much of an excuse. Oh well.

There has been conflicting schedules that we've been trying to balance as well. Some days I feel like I'm trying to herd a bunch of turtles and other days it seems like I'm hunting wabbits. I've had a couple snafus and feel like I just can't do everything. Which I can't. I'm not even trying. But I still feel like I'm letting the guys down and I'm not even sure why I feel that way. Weird.

We've had more issues with the neighborhood jerks. The little punks (who are younger than J) have gone from banging on our door, knocking our trash over, putting firecrackers on the porch to now throwing rocks and breaking windows. And added bonus, the landlord is taking their usual sweet old time to do anything about it. Hope they get it done before the snow flies.

I'm not sure if it's Hoosier manners or if people really need their eyes checked or what, but no one believes the guys are our kids. Fred and the twins get asked all.the.time if they're brothers. And Sunday we checked out a new church and was asked if were a group of college kids. Then we were asked if we were foster parents because they didn't believe we were old enough to be the biological parents. Wasn't even sure how to respond to that one. Don't get me wrong, we all had a good long laugh over that one but seriously.

I'm now concern I'm using too much paint and glue to hold it all together.

I told my mom I must have frozen my face into a 'please tell me more' look rather than what I'm thinking which is 'go away before I hurt you'. Not really sure how I got those two looks mixed up. I've even tried to practice my Fred face which is a scowl. So far, I am not nailing it.

And work has been....interesting. I don't even know where to start. Seriously throws me for a loop that people behave like spoiled brats. So far, I haven't gone off all sarcastic on anyone, which I give all credit to Jesus because there have been a handful of times that I was ready to send the person to meet Him face to face. I will say it's a weird experience to get cussed out by a little old lady. Not sure if her Depends shifted the wrong way or if she mixed up her denture cream with the Preparation H but w-o-w.

Don't even get me started on people who just shove things in random areas and I've heard many a person say, "so what - that's their job." Here's the thing with that - there are a ton of little stuff that we can't keep on top of and since lots of people have all decided it's someone else job to pick up after them and put stuff away, it doesn't always pan out. Closing is hard because trying to put all that stuff back takes a long time. Being on my feet all day and then walk all over the store to put it away has kicked me right in the muffin top which is probably a good thing. Too bad I still look like a busted can of biscuits. Or maybe that's just how I'm feeling. I'm starting to get more endurance so that's good. Wasn't sure I was going to survive last month.

Had a lady change her mind on about 300 sheets of random scrapbook paper. I had to repent for wishing her an infestation of fleas in her unmentionables while I tried to put it all back.

What? I said I repented.

However, there are a lot of nice people that have been a true joy to wait on. And the creative ideas people come up with?! Oh my gosh!! Wish I could take notes on some of the projects people have told me about.

For the most part I would say things have been good. It's just been bumpy shifting gears. Some days I feel like I can do it and other days are epic pity-parties. And I'm not sure how to shake myself out of it either. I can tell I make a difference when I choose to be pleasant to people when all I want to do it give them a giant plate of sarcastic comments....and a seriously smack to the head. Its just those days where I feel empty and having a hard time getting filled back up that are the real challenge. I'm not a fan of those days. Because life doesn't slow down long enough for me to come in for a landing. Can't seem to get very far with nothing but fumes either.

So the Captain would like to apologize for the serious lack of blogging. However, I'm not even sure if anyone is still on board any more as there is a suspiciously low number of parachutes left.

Once again, thanks for flying with Bug Air.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Another Day In The Fast Lane

I had yesterday off of work and do you want to know what I did with my glorious day of freedom? A few loads of laundry and went grocery shopping. But first we had to go run a few errands.

Cue some form of music - as in the tense white knuckle kind.

I will not identify which driver was behind the wheel, but what I will tell you is he sucks at parking. And that the curb doesn't move regardless if he saw it or not. Straight parking has not been his friend, and angle parking I can't convince him to pull up to the freaking line so the butt of the car isn't hanging out in the lane. Because what would I know?!?

You picked up on that one, right? Good. Just checking.

While the other one is doing wonderful at parking, he still needs help going around the corner because he refuses to do the hand over hand thing, thus being extremely jerky going around a corner - going about 5 mph. Although he got tired of me saying give it some gas so he gunned it but was still jerky.

I'm not sure which is worse - the whiplash or stomping on the I wish I had a break pedal on my side that isn't there. I am slightly exaggerating because I usually say stop, stop, stop!! But there are moments I'm wondering if they are ever going to get the hang of this. And then the next time we have to go somewhere we'll have a smooth ride, everything is fine and it's like they've been doing this for years. When they're good, they are good. But when it's an off day? My emotions are not happy.

Let me tell you about those emotions too. They are slightly pissed because they feel all jumpy and vulnerable. Lot of ups and downs in the past few months and it's taking a while to readjust and do things different. I'll be honest, it's knocked me for a loop, but I really don't have time to process it. I just have to roll with it. I was restocking shelves the other day and it was all the dorm stuff etc. and it hit me - hard - that the guys could have left this week for college. I drove home trying to not have an ugly cry fest because highway driving is nuts here. And when I got home, the last thing I want to do is bawl my head off about something that didn't happen because I sort of get mocked for doing it.

Example: it was pointed out to me that I'm being ridiculous for getting emotional over something that didn't even happen, and I should save it for the proper time because it is going to happen soon. However, if that boy doesn't lose his I know everything attitude, I'll will give him a major dose of reality and mail him his clothes. The extra comment about me needing chocolate did not help him in anyway, shape, or form. He complained to his dad about all of this and hearing what man-child said, the dad winced and replied, "bad call, dude."

I knew I liked that guy for a reason.

As if all that happy juice wasn't enough, youngest had a major teenage angst marathon where everything everyone said, and did, annoyed him. Had to sit him down and have a major talking to all while I tried not to pelt him with Hershey kisses. I think I was the only one who found the irony of this that I was telling him to knock it off while tossing him chocolate. Ping! Stop it! But I love you - muwah! Ping! But seriously - stop. Ping!

If I make it out of all of this alive, I hope the eye twitch and the tourettes will go away.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Well That Was Surprising

Went to a family reunion and actually had a good time. Was the first time I didn't walk away with this overwhelming desire to slit my writs and end my existence. Guess there is a first for everything, so that's always a plus. Oh I kid. I'm a firm believer in sticking around if for no other reason than to piss people off who don't like me.

I have no idea if the guys had a good time because I ditched all of them and hung out with the ample amount of females that are in this clan and soaked up the estrogen. I felt slightly giddy from the hormone buzz.

But what shocked the snot out of me was everyone was telling me congrats on the guys. One cousin got me a gift and a touching card, and I heard my praises being sung for homeschooling. I was touched, surprised, and just a wee bit confused. These were the same relatives that have been telling me what a huge waste of time my life has been and how I was screwing up my kids. For years I've been hearing all the negative. Now on the other side of it, everyone was applauding my effort, saying what awesome men I have raised, how brave I have been through it all, and how they admire me.

Um, okay.

I had this moment of panic that I was at the wrong house with the wrong people until I saw my mom grinning at me. She actually winked at me. She heard all the same negative stuff from all the same people about me, so in a way this was a nod to her too.

I found myself trying to figure out what flipped everyone's switch. So far I've drawn a complete blank. Fred didn't escape either. Everyone was impressed that he "reinvented himself" and did a different career choice. Although I did kick him when he told one cousin he was a drug dealer. She doesn't have much of a sense of humor and judging from the look on her face, she thought he was serious. Then he got asked all kinds of questions about different medicine that they were taking. After hearing what all everyone was on and for what, I'm thinking maybe the side effect was the culprit to losing all the judgmental comments.

Jury is still out on that one.

The guys got asked all kinds of questions like what are you going to do with your life? They replied they are doing the gap year thing to give themselves some time to hear from God and try to get everything all lined up. I was braced for the negative comments and was a bit surprised when none came, and then grinned like proud momma hen when everyone said that showed a huge sign of maturity on their part. I was able to restrain myself from running up to Fred and doing a chest bump. But only slightly.

But that is off the checklist and on to the next hurdle. And that hurdle has the name of schedule and is it one big mean sucker! Someone is coming and going just about everyday. We had to brave stuffmart because the pantry is at an all time low and this is my only chance to get there since that schedule thing morphed into a giant mutant monster. Part of my brilliant plan was to get a dry erase board to help keep everyone on track with what all is going on. Now toss that brilliant plan out the window.

Why, you don't wonder? So glad you didn't ask because now I'm going to tell you. I couldn't find a white board. Found neon blue and green boards. Black boards, even a red board. But no white. Silly me thought the markers that the same company was selling would show up on their product.

That would be a big NO.

Now I have a black board already on my wall and markers desperately trying to tell me the schedule but sadly the black board is having none of it and is keeping everything a big mystery.

I now get to find pastel markers in hopes to see how crazy busy we are. Although, I'm starting to wonder why I'm even bothering. Work keeps calling me as they don't have enough cashiers to cover stuff thus throwing all my plans right out the window. I'm still trying to recover from the weekend so I didn't bother to answer when my phone rang at 8 am.

Good-bye sleep! I'll miss you!

I have this annoying feeling I'm going to get another call tomorrow morning to see if I'll work. I might do it if the hours are daytime, but I'm not signing up to close on purpose. I'm still trying not to dry heave from having to clean up the bathrooms from closing this last weekend. I'm starting to hope there is a place in hell for people who refuse to clean up after themselves in public bathrooms. Has society really come down to gosh I just can't push the button to flush because I'm too important and therefore my sh!t don't stink? Really?


I will say I am so glad I didn't have to balance a job and homeschooling. When the kids were little and money always seems to be tight, I often wondered if I should get a job. For me, I'm not wired to do it. I come home drained and have very little patience to hear what the guys have to say. I'm glad I was home and gave them my all. They aren't always going to be little or even around, so I have a lot of peace that I did the right thing. Why, oh why, did that take so long to show up? Having spent years questioning if I was doing the right thing and not really knowing to now knowing, sort of makes me want to bang my head against the wall. Oh how I wished I would have walked in the moment and been more at peace than to question every step of the way worried! Also wished I could have held off doing this for a couple more years, but it is what it is.

Schools are starting up around here next week. J and I just laughed and laughed because we are still a month away before starting back up with him.