My Poor Schedule Is All Over The Place

I don't know if it's just 'that time of year' where the holidays are upon us or what. Remember my feelings of the whole calm before the storm? That feel is gone. Right now I feel like I've got a death grip on the dingy just trying to stay afloat with everything else going on. Crazy!

It seems that come midnight I'm actually tired and brain fried and can't motivate myself to blog. What is the deal with that? And this after I told myself that I look waaay too young to be having 2 14 yr olds. Humble pie - serving for 1?

I have not had a chance to write a blog post for N and M. I'm not happy with that either as I didn't do one last year. It also doesn't help that they usually tick me off right when I want to write one. Year 12 was not a fun year and I have mention a time or 50 of selling them to a roaming band of gypsies. Sort of kills the mood, ya know? "Dear N and M, today on your b-day I wonder, yet again, why in the world I was inflicted with this handful that was beyond my endurance." But that isn't very nice nor is it true as I'm still stinking here.

Hoopty did let me upload some pictures. Trouble is I still want to get a shot of M with his beloved guitar. He isn't cooperating. He's turning into Hubs a little too much. Every party having it's pooper and all.

I remember when they were little, they were total camera hams. Make that camera hogs. If one was in my hand - oh the poses. Now? I get the sneer of angst. Proving that testosterone is stupid juice. It kills off the fun loving little boy into I am teenager - pick up after me and feed me 12 times a day and I will make your life barely tolerable.

Oh I kid. It's not always that bad. I just don't like all the competition for being the crazy emotional one.

On top of that, I really don't feel that I have done the cookie baking thing justice. The best way I can describe this cookie is a very flaky pie crust wrapped around wooden rods and baked. Like so.

Once baked, we removed the rods and let them cool while I hopped around saying ow, ow, hot, hot. Then it's filled with the best filling I ever had. I do not want to know the calorie count. I bet it's 5,000 for 1.

I had said I was going to post the recipe and MIL suggested not to and have some at a gathering and then see if I can sell them to people. After I informed her I did have a life and there was no way I was going to be cranking these bad boys out for some green, she told me her sister made over $500 doing it. I'm now debating. It doesn't help that the recipe doesn't really explain how to do it. So even if I post it, there is no way to get the feel for it. Ya'll have recipes like that?

The guys did a really good job. And they cranked out a truck load of them. While most are gone, Grammy took home a box of them and I have one buried and locked in the freezer. They are so getting an A for this part of home ec.

This is Nicholas and Grammy, my MIL.

Michael and Jared were going to town. I think we used up every cookie sheet I had and I think I have over 10.

I told J to smile and he just said, "we're busy" right when the camera went off. Grammy tried to get them to have some all baked when they come back for Christmas visit and the boys shot that down saying they need her help a few more times before they have the swing of it.

My MIL and I worked pretty darn hard to get stuff pumped out. We were both bummed that we didn't get it all done. But what we did get done - oh my word! We stopped counting how many dozens.

Mr. Scrooge, aka Hubs, was even saying it was starting to feel like the holidays. The down side is that both my MIL and I got a bit sick from all this cookie goodness. We were using a lot of Crisco and let me tell you my bod did not like the extra grease. Organs I didn't know existed said excuse me, this is more than I can handle! And the heartburn! Oh my word, I haven't had it that bad since I was preggers with 2.

I guess I will be taking the low cal humble pie for one.

After watching Hubs suffer nary a bad affect, I was a tad bit bitter. He said it's because he's built up his immunity to all things cookie, fat, grease, sugary, spicy etc. Verses my delicate self as not been exposed to this level of goodness.

Suddenly the cookie coma is starting to make sense now.

Trouble is I feel like Garfield. Last night I snagged some of the apricot filled cookies and again was waylaid with more heartburn. Houston, we have a problem. Especially since there are a lot of those and I really like them. I probably shouldn't advertise that so I don't have people just showing up to hang out and get caught up on things.

I wasn't born last night, ya know.

Right now the guys are jamming out on the guitar and piano. We've been a bit half hearted on school stuff. Not to mention I have 2 very large baskets of clothes I need to full. Then there is all the other things I'm putting off like paying bills.

I have It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas going through my head which is nuts as the sun is out and shining and leaves all over the place. I blame it on all the commercials that are assaulting my senses already.

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas! Holiday angst is all a glow! The commercials are in full swing and I have to make a grocery list that is starting to grooow!
It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. Food is calling me sooo. Take a bite of this and that and before you know it, you're fat, (already there) so you say ah screw it and slam back several more (I am so there).

Merry Tums to all and to all a heartburn free night! (If I can stay out of the dagburn cookies.)

Where Do I Begin?

When we last left our heroine, she was battled and bruised but feeling rather smug at having kicked the kitty in the shmizle (yeah I made that up) and thinking this roaring lion thing wasn't that big of a deal.

Um, yeah.

Kitty regrouped. Kitty wasn't a kitty. Kitty is sort of a lion. Lion sort of roared a bit. But I can say I'm not sliding into the pit of despair. That truly is saying something.

Holy smokes, Peeps! This has been one crazy week.

We did have a great visit with the in-laws. Boys had a wonderful b-day which will have to be for another post. I'm trying to get pictures uploaded but hoopty is having none of it.

The shopping anointed worked just fine and dandy. Too bad we didn't have our money anointing with us. I spent more than what I wanted to and I never stinking do that. I had this massive brain fart and suddenly thought I had more than what I did and when I got to the check out all I could think was oh cwap as I paid for it.

But they were really good deals!!!

Thankfully Hubs wasn't bothered by it. I think my FIL was bothered by it. Especially since he gave me money to go shopping with and I spent that and more.

It was the anointing - I had to yield to it.

Although we got zilch in the shoe department and jewelry department. MIL found a purse while I didn't. I have weird standards in a purse as I only have one and I use it until it dies.

We ended up doing some serious cookie baking. I don't even want to get near a scale. Granted that's every day but this time *shudder* I don't want to think about it. The guys did really great - the first day. After their birthday shopping they had no use for us and were suddenly too busy to help with the cookie making process. Whatever. That's why we did the hard stuff first. Muwahaha!

Sad to say, we ran out of time. I think there was 4 more batches (that were all doubled) that we didn't get to do. But MIL is loaded up with cookies that she's going to freeze and will save her come Christmas. I only froze 2 Tupperware full as we are pounding on all the rest.

In the middle of all this, my hand mixer died. I looked at my MIL and said, "your son touched it and kiwd it". Hubs wanted to try this coffee ice cream mix that had to use the blender. Our blender, that we hardly ever use, turned out to be rusted up so the blade won't rotate. Not to be deterred, he dumped it into a cup, grabbed the hand mixer, only put in 1 beater and mixed. While it worked, the whole thing is now wonky. At first it would only spin 1 beater and then gave it up where it wouldn't do anything.

So we sent my FIL to the nearest store and he bought me another one so the cookie palooza could continue. Trouble with the new one is it sort of flung dough rather than mix dough. It brags it has turbo power which I'm sort of skert of. Why do I hear Tim Allen doing that man roar thing?

The kitchen looks like it exploded. This is going to take days to clean up.

My Dad tried calling and we didn't take the phone call. While the message he left was pleasant there was some snark to it and the tone. This got me upset and in turn got the boys upset. In the last week I've talked to my in-laws, a couple friends, and a couple aunts on the whole subject of my folks and everyone has different opinions on what the bible says to do to handle it.

Actually, my MIL had some pretty deep insight on my feelings towards my Dad and why I've been struggle about it. Guess I've been hoping to get back what was gone. Sort of like dragging around that dead raccoon. Yet another graveyard.

On top of that, we had to sit down with N last night and have a serious talking to - again. Only this time it was really clear he needed some serious prayer. It was a long night. I can already tell a difference in him. Hoping he gets his rear end in gear. I tell ya, this teenage thing is just brutal. The hard part is how his decisions effects everyone else and he can't seem to get that through his head. I think it is now.

If this drama wasn't enough, it turns out the boys have all been having bad dreams. Really hate it when there is a problem going on and I'm the last to find out about it. They haven't bothered to tell us about it but while they talked about it amongst themselves it ended up scarying the willies out of J so he's been afraid to sleep. On top of that, J tells us how he's been getting picked on by a couple different boys and they've been shoving him at bible study and at church.

Nice.

I wonder if we can install some baby monitors in the upstairs room as I can know these things while they are going on rather than oh by the way it's clean up time from emotional meltdowns.

We have the bible on CD so I had it playing in the hallway and just looped it while we all slept last night. Boys woke up in a good mood and all of them said they slept wonderfully for the first time in a long time.

As Hubs and I were getting ready for bed, we both said we can tell the battle has been upped but have got to be so stinking close to some serious breakthrough. Both of us have been getting some huge insight on things and feel closer to God than we ever have before - is it any wonder all hell has been breaking loose?

Then the laundry monster showed up and just karate chopped me this morning. I'm either buried under a mountain of laundry OR a mountain of dishes. Kerri informed me that this is a butt kicking week on the bible study. Mercy! Or maybe that should be Medic!

While I'm staggering I'm still upright so that has to count for something. Right?? If not there are always those cookies.

Sheesh!

Holy smokes! Remember my post about crawling out of the grave? Um, yeah. Today was one of those days that had me running back for the tomb, diving in, pulling the door shut and was just cracking open a tube of caulk to seal the darn thing shut.

Luckily for me, it was a tube of cookie dough I cracked open instead of all purpose, all weather caulk. I don't know how I could have mistaken the tubes. It's not like you store caulk in the frig, right?

At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So there I was cookie dough in one hand and caulk in the other when, gosh oh gee, I get to put into practice what we just studied this week. Kerri and I just had McTalking Monday night. Like a cool breeze, the whole weeks lesson came blowing back over my scorched brain. (Not insulting myself - I felt fried to a crisp!)

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. Nothing like God telling you to strap on the big girl panties and kick some toothless lion in the groin.

*Side note* is it biblical to ask God to send an angel to kick the devil in the balls once a day? Anyone??? When I posed this question to Hubs, he said actually we're told to do the kicking and that we have power over the enemy. I think that's in Ephesians. Note to self, get some steal-toed boots.

What could get me this worked up you ask? Then you must be new here. The rest of the 5 people that read this already know the score.

Drama on the parent front. Dad is in half way house and my phone was ringing off the hook from various relatives telling me how I need to get a copy of driver licence cuz my grandparents had put my name on the car they bought my Dad last time and blah, blah, blah. Same crap, different day. Basically they are having to do for him what I did last time. But with my name on the car it caused a snafu and they need me to drop everything and get some stuff taken care of to ease their burden.

As if I had nothing else going on right now.

I got off the phone and I sat there as the emotions went off the charts. I was in a total fit. We're talking past the point of no return. Isn't it hilarious that this last week we covered anger and how not to be surprised if people come crawling out of the woodwork to get you to go back to the wrong thinking? It also said to watch out for gasoline words - things that can trigger anger.

Think about that for a second. If you're in a red hot rage what will gasoline do? Exactly. I felt like gasoline was dumped all over me.

Oh mah gosh, the emotions! Emotions that I thought were dead came right back to life just like a fire. And it didn't stop there because that burning thing turned on me and tried to scorched the tender new shoots of growth. I ended up making mistakes left and right and kept catching myself calling myself names. It was not a fun day.

I did not eat the cookie dough. I put down the caulk. I didn't stay in the tomb. But you would not believe how low I ended up feeling about myself from one thing after another, after another, after....you get the picture. It turned into a fierce battle that ended up with me on the floor sucking carpet doing some serious prayer along with some serious snot blowing, eyes leaking, bawling and just wrung out.

I was telling Kerri the other night I got ker-smacked with this last week's lesson. When the emotions are hot it asked what words do I speak to myself to calm down. What? We're suppose to do that??? Needless to say, I had some work to do. It said like water to the flame - we're to speak the Word of God to our red hot emotions. And isn't it just special I got to put that right into practice the very next day?

Yeah, I'm not laughing.

Sort of hard to read scripture when you're scraping snot off your chin. But life moves on and I had stuff to get done.

We had to go grocery shopping and I was in such a fit, I suggested we run for the border and then secretly cackled with glee at the thought of gassing wally world. Clearly, I have some issues.

While shopping I ran into a couple different people. Thankfully, we weren't eeking any green clouds of doom. But I was asked if I was going to some up-coming event. I had no clue what the person was talking about and it shifted to awkwardness when it was realized I wasn't invited.

While there was no way I could go, I still felt a deep sting from being left out. More gasoline on raw emotions. I was a bit quicker on my response to myself. Nothing like being in the middle of stuffmart doing battle as I felt absolutely unwanted - just down to my core being.

Talk about your drama.

But I was clued in on what was going on. Didn't make it any easier and I think if one of the guys would have dropped a taco bomb I would have been curtains. I was in such a daze from not giving vent to those emotions that I forgot a few things on the list. I caught myself - again - before I went off on my mental capacity and lack thereof. I hate repeat visits to a store because that means more money.

On the bright side, we underspent which both shocked and confused me. You would think I would have stuck my arm out and ran down the chocolate aisle clearing the shelves into my cart. I didn't buy one piece of chocolate.

I told the guys to take my pulse.

I think this may be progress. I can tell you, I'm very much alert to the schemes of the devil. The only downer is I took one serious beating from it. Even though I'm beat up and bruised, I'm still standing and there is one sore lion holding his groin.

Who's roaring now?

Here We Go

Well thanks for all the nice words. Means a lot. I can tell you that I have found that most people do not like it when I'm being honest. I was always told to let your yes be yes and your no be no. I find it difficult to navigate in certain circles as most people won't tell you what they are thinking to your face. Then you find yourself trying to figure out what was really said and what was really meant.

It's enough to cause me to go screaming for a locked door.

Moving on....

We had a good weekend. We went out and about Saturday as the whole trick-or-treating isn't really our thing. My guys are all about the candy and really don't want to share it with other people anyway. Totally made my day that Steak and Shake has their White Chocolate milkshakes out early.

Let me tell you, there was rejoicing in the land.

I made up a bag of candy for each of us and reached for the stretchy pants. My attempts at a chocolate coma was not successful. It did, however, appease aunt flo and thank goodness she is slinking back into her coffin.

Now if I could get the headaches to go away, life would be a bit better.

The birthday palooza is soon to be upon us. There has been great debate as to what in the world to get twin 14 year olds who have different tastes in what they want. Money has a nice ring to it and that is working for them.

M wanted a better guitar and thanks to his brilliant Dad he now owns a nicer one. Hubby had the idea of checking out a pawn shop. Sure enough, he fell head over heels in love with a nicer guitar in great condition all at a price that was right for M.

He's still on cloud nine.

Pictures will be coming later in the week if hoopty will let me.

N, on the other hand, has been weighing his options as there isn't one thing that he desires. Instead, there is a whole host of things he can get. We've had long discussions about all of his options. I fear I am no longer able to appear like a give a rat's bee-hind any more about said options. But rather than anger it, I mean him, I march on like a brave little soldier.

I do still tease him but simply because he has it coming. In spades. I am just very thankful that the 11-12 years stages are behind us and 13 was much easier to deal with. After massive threats to sell them to gypsies if they every go through that stage again, I'm confident that 14 will be better yet.

Don't you dare burst my bubble with reality!!!

N did buy the new TFK's album and I got it all loaded on everyone's MP3. He also bought an expansion pack for Guitar Praise. Good stuff! Except they won't play the songs I want to listen to - ooooh noooo, we can't be having that!

I spent most of Sunday watching movies with J because he feels horribly left out and thinks the world is out to get him. This is suspiciously sounding like the 11 year old blues. Dude is only 6 months away from it and I can already tell he is starting to change. His body is getting thicker and he's not able to make a high of a squeak noise when he's tickled. He was even complaining that he's not too happy with how his body is changing on him.

Do tell.

I so hope he's easier to deal with on these next 2 years. While he has a different personality than his brothers, one never knows how it is going to go down.

But the guys are looking forward to Grammy and Pap coming for a visit. I guess I am a proud new owner of a battery operated cookie press. Do this mean I have to use it? I was telling the guys about it and N is all excited to use the 'cookie gun' as that is what he is calling it. Lord, help me!

I was going through the basic 'gun' safety.
Do not point it at anyone.
Do not look down the barrel.
Only point it at the target, which is the cookie sheet.
And never use it to load up your mouth with cookie dough!

Just your standard procedure at the kitchen of testosterone. Sheesh!!

Since this does count as part of their home ec. I'll just have to roll with it. I sort of have a feeling this is not going to go well with FIL. They've done a lot of electrical experiments and I'm wondering if he will feel the need to man them up a bit after being exposed to estrogen. Just another opportunity to roll with the punches.

I'm looking forward to shopping with Grammy and praying for her anointing to flow. Also praying for the bag o' money to show up as well. I did tell her that people wanted to tag along to see her gift in operation. She said that is a no go, as they might drain her of her anointing and we need it.

This is going to be one crazy week! I'm not sure how much blogging I'll get done. I'm trying to figure out what to do with my farms. Leave them plowed and empty or plant something that takes 4 days to grow as I don't think I'll be on the computer much.

On top of all that, I am seriously honked off at the website I got my blog background from. Seems the site went private. Trouble with that is I had the next 3 backgrounds all picked out - with matching header. Now I can't access the codes to get them. Which means I'm screwed.

I'm still stewing over it. I haven't found anything else that comes close to what I had in mind. Dagnabbit!

Oh well, no biggie I guess.

Death To The Dead

I'll sort of explain the title. Just hang in there with me. I'm not even going to slam Halloween.

I was driving home this afternoon and enjoying all the pretty fall colors. I also saw a lot of scary decorations and I have to shake my head with wonder as to why people like to celebrate death so much. I don't get it.

The whole subject of dead things has been coming up a lot lately. So much so, that I'm seeing a theme. Around this time last year, I was reminded of the story of Lazarus and how Jesus called him out of the grave. I felt very strongly that was applicable to myself and several other people that I know. So I've been wondering what exactly did that mean.

Then I fell head first into the driest, deadest season you could imagine. Work, money, relationships, even my time with God was dried up, d-r-y. Discouragement and depression rolled right in with it. Not to mention the whole aunt flo issue that hadn't been an issue for years was back.

It could not have felt more like a tomb.

Ever notice the dead can't really call out to people because people can't hear them? I felt that way. No matter what I was saying, it wasn't coming across the way I wanted it to. Misunderstandings were popping up with everything and everyone. It was getting to the point that I didn't even want to be around people because the tension in the air was more than what I could handle. I had that screw it gene going on in full force. I was wiped out on many levels so I just pulled further into that tomb with those words mocking me, "I've called you by name and I've called you out of the grave."

I did not feel called and you don't get much deader than what was going on. Flat lined. Freaked out Hubby to see me just give up. Hubs said that God did pull Lazarus out of the grave, I came back with 'after He let him marinate for a while'. So then we had a nice long discussion of marinades and the proper doneness of something.

Leave it to us to beat a dead horse.

I crack myself up.

Interesting timing on a couple of things. First being, Skillet's new album Awake came out and there are a couple songs that just nailed it.

Their song Awake And Alive was just so fitting. I'm not going to put all the words down as I don't know if that would be kosher but if you can check out the song.
"I'm at war with the world and they try to pull me into the dark.
I struggle to find my faith.
As I'm slipping from your arms
It's getting harder to stay awake
And my strength is fading fast
You breathe into me at last
I'm awake I'm alive
...When my faith is getting weak
And I feel like giving in
You breathe into me again"

I had this and a couple other songs just cranked up. Got to love a guy who can belt super loud what you are feeling. Holla to the panheads!

Then Kerri and I started this bible study. I can not tell you enough good things about this bible study. Why haven't you gotten it yet? Waiting on Christmas???? Make sure you get the bible study. My MIL has had all kinds of drama to get this book. You can get it through Lifeway's website. It looks like this.


There were a couple things that have been hopping out at me right from the start. Before we started this I was telling Hubs I was so tired of getting my butt kicked and not having more victory in my life. That's when I had the curtain pulled back and saw how much unbelief I had lurking around.

Ruh-roh, Raggie.

One of the things Jennifer Rothschild said was any thought that doesn't line up with God's Word is a grave digging thought. Even I could see that light bulb go off. What are you saying to yourself? Is it God's truth or a lie straight from the grave? If it isn't God's truth than it's a sin.

Yeah, I'm still stinging over that one myself - thought I would share.

The more we've dug into this study, the more I can see how I've have dug some graves and pulled the stone over the opening just by agreeing with negative things that have been spoken over me. Let me tell you - that is one long list!

So I set my mind to break off these agreements and finally start saying and thinking what God says and thinks about me. Just like all of us are suppose to! What a concept, huh?

Even Hubs' message was on making agreements with God instead of lies. He had his message long before I even started this bible study.

Oh irony, how you love to follow me.

He said he believed the lies the enemy had told him when he was young because all his natural senses told him that he hadn't become a Christian and that he hadn't changed. He said by his agreeing with that lie rather than agreeing with what God's Word said about him being a new creation in Christ, that it opened a door, if you will, and for a time in his life he was involved in Indian mysticism and the occult. While it's been many years since then he said he carried the guilt of that around for years.

Oh do I know all about guilt!

With all the dog drama we've had going on, I was reminded of a time when the dog we have found a dead raccoon. We don't know if she killed it or what. But she carried this thing around like a teddy bear. She snuggled up with it and would give it doggie kisses. No matter how hard we tried to get her away from that dead, stinky thing, she would not let it go. We were able to get it one time and bury it and that darn dog went and dug it back up.

As that memory was playing through my head, Jesus very quietly asked me if I was ready to give Him the dead raccoon. Moi?? I'm not carrying around some dead... Doh!

If we repent, or own up to it, Jesus is faithful to forgive us our sins. Do I believe He paid the price for it? Yes. Then why am I dragging that dead thing around like a teddy bear? A part of me knows that it's dead and needs to be buried. So why in the world did I crawl in the grave with that thing???

The old saying a lie is easier to believe than the truth is painfully accurate some times.

Have you heard the term stinking thinking? I had some stinking thinking lies that I had agreed with as a young child and here I've been hauling them around as that is all I have known. I've also been carrying some guilt around like dead weight. I haven't known anything different. As far back as I can remember - and I can remember all the way back to preschool - it's all been a graveyard experience. I remember the good times and have grieved over them with no hope of more good things to come.

Talk about your downer.

I've reminded myself many a time of Ps 23 that God say go through the valley of the shadow of death NOT camp out here. This is my plot, here I rot isn't the correct attitude.

Rothschild's study wasn't about to let me off the hook either. It was exposing a lot of wrong thinking I've had about myself and truth be told, in just about every area of my life. She pressed even further on faulty assumptions. "Faulty assumptions always reveal themselves in wrong thinking and result in erroneous action."

Ever assume something but have it to be totally wrong?

Yeah, don't look at me all innocent like.

Kerri and I were talking about where one week we were asked if we need to hear truth, admit truth or embrace truth. I know all the Christianese phrases. I'm doing like 3 bible studies and I'm still flat dry, bone empty. I've heard truth, I know truth but still coming up empty. The words 'embrace truth' leaped off the page. She's been saying how we need to tell ourselves to wake up to the scheme's of the devil who is like a roaring lion. She even asked how is it possible to not be aware of a lion's roar?

Well lets see, when you're in a grave and have made all kinds of agreements that are opposite of what God's Word says, then you decided to crawl out of that grave only to have a lion standing right there - I'm thinking a couple of throws, a comfy couch and this tomb isn't so bad.

Why yes, Ethel, it has been a knock down drag out fight. However could you tell?

I've emailed a lot of you on a regular basis. I know we have all been struggling with different issues as far as the eye can see. But I so want to encourage you to come out of the grave digging lies that have been holding us back in so many areas. You're worth it. Don't you dare tell me you're not! Jesus didn't pay the price for you for nothing and you're not junk. All of us are rare treasures. The thing about treasure is you have to dig it up to know it's value. All of us have a treasure that has been deposited in us and it's time to come out of that grave fully using what God's Word says about us.

It's time to take off the grave clothes and to come awake, to come alive.

The world may want to celebrate death but we all know where the world is heading. Last few months have been interesting. Hubs and I have been breaking off past agreements and holy smokes as that stirred up interesting things. Even though it has been a battle, I'm not going back in the grave. I have been fighting too hard, too long to say screw it and just lay down and die - now. Oh the temptation has been there! My body is just run down, the emotions have been rubbed raw, the will has been run dry, and it has been a fight just to get out of bed every day. The reason I keep at it is, if nothing else, to piss off a few people and say that I'm still freakin here!

In the bible Jesus told the people to cut the grave clothes away. The thing about being in a grave like this - inside my own head and my own emotions - is that no one can come and cut away the grave clothes. It is a choice you have to make to keep going to Jesus. Day in and day out.

It's funny because this has been rolling around in my head for weeks but I haven't shared it. I went to bible study today and a lot of what was said was lining right up with a few things even though it's a different bible study. Hilarious God.

Then I was prayed for and more of breaking off curses. My folks are a huge depression trigger. Hubs has pointed out to me many times that I didn't have the relationship I thought I did with them. Yet here I am, holding what I thought was a teddy bear, grieving over the good times when it's really a dead animal.

Much like a toothless lion.

It's defeated but I've allowed it to take up residency in my thoughts. He roars away and doesn't have to take a bite because I've already laid down and gave up. I can see how this plays out into everything God says about us - health, finances, relationships - you name it. If I'm agreeing with a lie than how can I believe God what He says in His word about my situation?

What fries my bacon is that I was attacked at a very young age and not knowing any better, agreed with every negative thing that people said about me - even thinking it was myself saying it about me. More from Jennifer - she said "Snarly, ugly lies come from the roaring lion, our Enemy. They're his primary plan for stealing your peace and killing your joy. He knows how to drop the thought off at your thought-closet door dressed up just like something you would feel or think."

Dirty rotten bastage.

I know I'm not the only one that has bought into that lie!

If you can identify with this than I can't stress it enough - get this bible study! Well worth it! It's been brutally painful but for once I feel like I got a grip on it instead of just getting tossed around. I feel like I actually have some tools in my hand to do what needs to be done instead of a band-aid on an open wound.

I've spent a lot of time praying for my InterPeeps. I know I'm not the only person out there just straggled in grave clothes. Jesus called His friend by name out of the grave. How about it friend, ya with me?

Dog Gone Good

It seems the doggie drama continues. The other day the screaming neighbor lady was on our front steps yelling at her dog to come back. The dog was at our front door scratching to be let in. Lady screamsalot was stomping her foot and demanded the dog come to her.

Mr. Curious decided, 'screw you lady, I'm taking my chances with these people' and went from scratching on the door to banging into the door. I lost all composure when the lady asked the dog if he wanted a spanking and started laughing. I have no idea if the dog turned around and looked at her because she asked him again and then added, 'then come here right now'.

Unable to believe what I was hearing, I proceeded to laugh even harder that set off a coughing fit. Even though the door was closed, she heard me mocking her. So she stomped up the steps, onto the porch, and dragged her dog off. The dog, who I swear yelped, 'save me', did not want to go and get his spanking.

A few hours later same dog was driving our dog nuts. At least until today.

I did hear some barking and yelling but since it's a daily, no hourly, occurrence I blew it off. Hubby got home and informed me that our dog was waiting in the driveway for him when he got out of his truck. Turns out the dog had enough and busted through a rotten board on the fence and proceeded to scary the milk bone right out of the neighbor lady and her wayward dog.

This may explain why we had the quietest evening. Haven't heard one peep from next door and that is saying a lot.

This is an old dog and is more bark than bite - now. But back in her hay day she, along with her sister, were the neighborhood terrors and were royal pests. While we lived out in the country then - they still had a reputation. I didn't care as they weren't my dogs. So the thought of her going after someone's pet made me feel bad.

Then I remembered who it was and quickly let that feeling pass.

I don't think any harm was done or I bet she would have been banging on my front door. Knowing how much this dog has mellowed, I bet she busted out just to get Mr. Curious to knock it off. She's a big dog and her size alone should have caused both screaming lady and her little dog to go away. One can only hope.

We think after her escape she hid in our backyard and didn't bother anyone else. I never heard anything. Hope she scared off the stray cat while she was back there. To the dog's credit, she took Hubs right to the escape spot to show him where to fix the fence. The fence that is rotting and needs replaced. The rotting fence that we hope out lasts the dog.

This, once again, brought up the subject of what are we going to do and how soon do we think my folks will be able to take their dog back. Problem with that is this dog does not travel well. She gets super sick. With the folks going back to Indiana we don't think this dog would make it. And there is no way I want a barfing dog to suddenly have bowl issues on a 3 hour drive.

I find myself angry at being in the situation all over again. Just to add insult to injury, my Mom tried calling today. My Dad arrived at a half-way house today and for some reason Mom tried calling me. Why she thought I would have had any information was beyond me. She should have tried calling my grandparents or my aunt who was the one that picked his butt up from the bus station.

I was on the phone with Hubs earlier today just sort of whining about a couple of things and this was before the escaping dog and my Mom calling. The whole female issue gets old real quick and I was just sniffing about how hard it is as this affects life on many levels. Not happy to be having this issue after years of not having problems.

When Hubby came home he had a mocha frappe for me. Aww! I sort of felt bad for that last post I did about him looking like Clark Gable. I told him about the post and without missing a beat, he quoted from You've Got Mail.
"152 that thinks he looks like Clark Gable."
"152 people who thinks he looks like a Clark Bar."

Truly, I love this man beyond words.

Since he gets me, I got over the somewhat bad feelings for sort of mocking him and slammed down the frappe.

Speaking of dog gone good - I tried a new recipe and even J like it. That is huge. This is easy and it fed these guys with enough left over for lunch.

Lime Chicken Tacos
1-1/2 pounds of boneless skinless chicken breast.
3 T. lime juice
1 T. chili powder
1 cup frozen corn
1 cup chunky salsa
flour tortillas
Sour cream, shredded cheese and lettuce optional

Place the chicken in a slow cooker. Combine lime juice and chili powder; pour over chicken. Cover and cook 5 hours OR until chicken is tender. (Depends on the temp settings of crock pot. Less time to cook then use higher heat.)
Remove chicken, cool slightly. Stir in corn and salsa. Take forks and shred chicken, return to slow cooker. Mix well; cover and cook on low for 30 minutes. Load up the tortillas and have at it.

It was down right yummy. Although I should have used a slotted spoon to dish it up as they were a bit juicy.

Sneak Attack

I'm trying to figure this one out. I totally got sneak attacked. First off, dear old mean spirited aunt flow said, "nanner nanner I'm baaaack!" in her most creepy voice. Seriously? It's only be a little over a week auntie!

Further proof that I am one messed up cookie.

I got to go have some girl time over coffee Monday morning. Huge thanks! I'm thinking this needs to be a mandatory once a month thing. I had a pumpkin spice latte. I am slowly turning to the darkside. Latte doesn't have as strong of a coffee taste to me. Maxwell House has an International brand of Vanilla Caramel Latte. I like it. It smells wonderful. So much so, that all 3 boys about parked their noses on my cup to sniff it.

Suddenly my desire for it went downhill a bit but I blame that on the guys.

But I was surprised as most of the time I get anything coffee it tastes pretty retched no matter how much I doctored it. And you have no idea how I have longed to be part of the coffee crowd. I've endured many a scornful look at my inability to drink coffee. This was another bone of contention for my Mom. I think she would liked to be hooked up to an I.V. of coffee and had dreams of a mini her version going out for coffee.

While her mini-me turned out to be my brother, I could tell this was yet another area where I let her down. That and the more I acted like my Dad, the more it cooked her noodle.

They say coffee is an enquired taste. I always said if you have to force yourself to like it something is wrong.

Does this make me bi-beverage? Because that's just a little out there even for me.

Moving on...

A few weeks ago I totally saved N as a spider was crawling up his arm. I could tell he had no idea and instincts taking over I reached out to just grab the thing. Trouble with that is N pulled his arm away with the what are you doing which threw off my grab. While I did kill the spider, it did manage to bite me in the hand.

The weirdos, aka my spawn, keep asking me if I'm going to turn into SpiderMom. Hilarity has continued as they tried to figure out if my metamorphosis has started yet. I told J if he even goes for the fuzzy lip stand-by I was going to knock him into next week. He said that would be good because next week is going to be eventful and exciting verses this week has been picking up and getting things ready.

Right about now, the web shooter would have been handy.

I get to hear every.single.day just how excited the guys are for their upcoming b-day. Good thing because I would hate to see them carry on their Dad's tradition of still being mad he was born, so please do not acknowledge the tragic day he arrived on this mud ball called planet earth. I wish I were kidding. He has gotten better. By a tiny bit.

As I was trying to down play the fact I was curled into a fetal position popping Midol like they were tic-tacs, I found myself at a unique angle observing the guys. I can tell some of the chewbacca gene as managed it's way to the boys. M has peach fuzz mutton chops going on. Their Dad can't grow a beard but it's looking like the boys will. At least M will.

When is it time to say, "son, shave the fuzz off your face?" It's super fine, not that noticeable but not so sure about the whole thing. Their Dad can shave once a week. He has never shaved his upper lip. It took him years to grow the stache. So I have no idea. He did show them how to shave and I managed to sneak attack a picture of this and all 4 of them threw a fit.

Soooo, I won't be posting said picture right about now. But truth be known, only because the computer has rejected my camera.

Before I forget, Hubs said I miss spoke a few months ago. When I gave him my typical blank what are you talking about look, he said that it's not Cary Grant it was Clark Gable he's always been referred to - and I didn't spell Cary right.

After I stopped blinking rather rapidly, I tried really hard to remember what the heck he was talking about. Then I remembered Ethel and Maw-maw from wally world had asked that handsome man who looked like Clark Gable to help them out.

What-stinking-ever.

For that little snark, it will cost him.

I can't scan any of our older pictures as I have the crappiest scanner and doesn't do the picture justice. If you can ignore the chin hair, give him longer wavy hair, stick out the ears - I see it.


I even had a picture on my camera that is sort of close to this except for the long wavy hair. But Hoopty computer, still terrified of Hubs decided to not let the camera work, thus protecting Hubs.

Unless dude is using his Jedi mind trick right now but doubt it as he's sound asleep.

The picture I posted a few months ago just doesn't have the same snarky 'frankly mah dear, I don't give a damn' look about him. Well, except this one.

But he doesn't have his Clark Gable look going on in this picture. Phooey. But both Ethel and Maw-maw had fun batting their glued on eyelashes as Mr. Dashing.

Who tells me months later about a typo.